Four loves of Stuart Bloom
by Mislav
Summary: Stuart was engaged in many relationships. But he really loved only four people. Slash, het. Oneshot.


**A/N: I don't own any of The Big Bang Theory characters and I am not making any money from writing this.**

**Please forgive any minor spelling or grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.**

**Title pretty much explains the story: insight in four (great) loves of Stuart Bloom. Some were cannonical or hinted, and some I just made up. I always felt sorry for Stuart and I saw some other stories with similar concept, so I decided to write this. I hope you will enjoy reading this.**

**This is just a oneshot. It is r****ated T due to a sad content and slight description of physical intimacy.**

**Music: "Fountain" by Sarah Lov.**

**Penny**

When he first saw Penny, well... it was... impressive, so to say. But it wasn't love on a first sight, was, obviously, pretty-very pretty-and he was stunned to see her in a comic book store. Then they talked, she complimented him and gave him her phone number. He decided to call her back and see how will things work out-at that point, he didn't have a date in two years and he was overjoyed to have an attractive, witty girl who likes his drawings interested in him.

And so, they started dating. It was... nice. They didn't have many things in common, but they respected each other and enjoyed each others company. He started to think that he may be on a way to form a first serious, long-term relationship.

After one of the dates, they were talking in his car and somehow, they ended up kissing. It was amazing, really: when he first felt her soft, warm lips against his, he felt a rush of pleasure going down his spine and his knees shaking. After few seconds, he started playing along. He pressed his lips hard against hers, and she slipped her tongue in his mouth, wrapping it around his. He moaned after he felt her warm wet tongue wrapping around his, it's tender taste so delicious that he felt shivers going down his throat. Then she slid her hand through his hair, every touch sending heat rushing through his body.

"Oh, Penny", he moaned against her lips in mixture of pleasure and lust, before giving her tongue one warm wet lick.

"Oh, Leonard..."

Wait, what?

L... Leonard? Leonard? The Leonard?

Penny suddenly stopped and moved away, mixture of confusion and shock evident in her eyes.

_Of course? How could I be so stupid?_, he thought._ I was... the second best. A_ _substitute. I never mattered to her. Never._

_Never. She was unhappy all along. Everything was a lie._

"Stuart, I...", she tried to say something, anything.

"Don't", he stopped her, his tone of voice unusually harsh. He stopped her before she was able to say a lie, before she was able to hurt him more. Or allow herself to live in a lie.

She didn't deserve that, and he didn't deserve that.

"I..."

"No, I understand, really." He really did, unfortunately. "I... I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Penny was silent, afraid to say that she agrees, probably thinking that would make her selfish and heartless. So he simply walked away, slaming the door shut. When he returned, half an hour later, he found out that Penny already left.

**Amy Farrah Fowler **

It was also nice to be with Amy, too. She was smart, she respected him, and she enjoyed his company. And he enjoyed her company, too.

And then, Sheldon interrupted their second date. As soon as he saw him, Stuart knew what was about to happen. And he was right.

He was disappointed and unhappy, sure. Not that he was showing it. But he was also happy because Sheldon put an end to it before he was able to bound with her more, before they were able to become more than friends: that would only make it more heartbreaking.

**Rajesh Koothrappali**

For years, Stuart was lonely while no one he knew was lonely, or at least, no one he knew was showing it, was willing to talk about that, or was able to comfort him. And then Raj came along, and Stuart was actually shocked-in a good way. All those years, they had so many things in common, they were able to understand each other very well, and they weren't friends until then.

After a while, he started wondering... is what they have only a friendship, or something more. He never felt something like that toward anyone before, and, although he wasn't sure was he in love in love with Raj, he knew that there was something there. It was hard to define what, but there was something there: something beautifiul and strange and new, all at once.

He was planning to tell him that on Valentine's Day, after the party (if you could call it a party) in his comic book store. And then he saw him going away with Lucs, and all those feelings and memories he was trying to forget came back: he felt Raj slipping away, like he felt with Penny four years ago, and he ran to his place and cried. When he came back, everyone already left.

He was starting to see Raj less and less since. It was simply too painful. Raj didn't mind, because he started spending more and more time with Lucy. When he heard that Raj and Lucy broke up, he decided to find him, comfort him, maybe... and he found him all happy, now able to talk with women without being drunk. He was happy because of Raj, sure. Look of happiness and relief on Raj's face caused his heart to melt.

_At least he found happiness._

But he also felt that he is no longer needed, so he simply walked away.

Because he knew that, although Raj was no longer with Lucy, he wouldn't be happy with him. He couldn't love him the way Stuart loved him. And it was better that way.

Finally, after all the terrible break-ups, he was able to let someone go, to move on. And it felt pretty damn good. And painful, but also good.

**Lucy**

From all the girls in a world... he ended up with the one he used to think of as... well, rival. It's not that he hated her while she was with Raj or something... actually, maybe it was just that.

But that was before, and it was in the past.

Maybe all that breakups had a point. If Penny didn't dump him, she wouldn't be with Leonard now. If Amy didn't dump him (not that they were actually dating), she wouldn't be with Sheldon now. Then Raj wouldn't feel so lonely, and he wouldn't attend his "Singles only" Valentine's Day party. He wouldn't meet Lucy. If Raj was with him, he wouldn't end up being engaged in a relationship with her, and the two of them wouldn't break up. If they didn't break up, Lucy wouldn't...

Well, they wouldn't meet.

They had many things in common, and they actually helped each other: after months of dating, she seemed to be less scared of some things and he was no longer depressed all the time. Also, they both had certain qualities that other one lacked and that helped them to overcome some of their problems together.

Every time when that would happen, it would bring them closer, and it would increase the feelings that they had for each other.

He loved her. He knew that for sure now. It took him years to find someone to love, but it was worth it.

Finally, he had a reason to live. And for the first time, he gave a reason to live to somebody else, too.

"Stuart?", Lucy asked, slowly opening her eyes as first glows of sun peeked through the window, her naked body still covered with a sheet, "is it seven am already?"

**A/N: The one part of this story hints how Stuart and Lucy met. That is described in my other story, "Bridge".**


End file.
